we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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