this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
