My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
