it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
