i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
