She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
