How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize