I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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