I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
