you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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