Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
