I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
