I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
