Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
