I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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