mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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