i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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