You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
