you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
