you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
