he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My dick has a subreddit
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
