Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
