and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
