I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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