I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
