I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
