two words: eviction party
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
