i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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