Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
