Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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