My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
