We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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