but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
