please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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