he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
