he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So squirting runs in the family.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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