just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
