i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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