her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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