it's too hot outside to masturbate.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
