it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
