i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
