if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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