so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
