My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
