I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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