Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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