That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
