we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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