Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
