We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Every concussion has its silver lining
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
