honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
